Step by Step Journey: Writings of Richard Dahlstrom - because there's always a next step

It’s not just that it’s been happening throughout history.  It’s our collective complicity with it, through knowing and not speaking, through seeing and not saying.  It’s the “this is just the way it is” of it that is at the heart of the blight.  Turning a blind eye to sexual abuse, misogyny, and the abuse of power in relationships has been happening for millenia.  These dark sins have, it seems, been so deeply woven into the fabric of our culture that they’ve gone tragically unnoticed.

Thanks be to God, the tide is turning.  Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner occurred at a time when they were viewed as isolated incidents years and decades ago, and presidential liaisons before that were hushed up completely.  But the rapid recent succession of Donald Trump, Bill O Reily, Roger Ailes, and now the Weinstein situation have brought the issue out onto the mainstage of culture, front and center.   That’s good news, but only if we respond rightly and become part of the healing solution.  So how should we respond?

Reject all objectification of women.  It’s too easy for those who’ve never been guilty of overt abuse to wash their hands in false self righteousness, ready as they are to throw their stones.  But the wise person will see abuse clothed in power as the presenting problem and travel further upstream to find the source of the malady.  When he does, he’ll find that always, before there’s abuse, there’s an objectification – the reduction of a woman made in God’s image to nothing more than a body, a thing that exists solely for the satisfaction of the onlooker, as he uses her to fill some destructive void in his life.   If this is the real problem, perhaps there’s not a man among us who isn’t guilty – and perhaps this is why Jesus took lust so seriously here.

Overcoming habits of objectification will require an active re-training of our senses, our interior thought life, because the reality is that our culture is complicit in the sex abuse problem, reducing women to objectified images in advertising, bait click portraits, movies, sitcoms, and shopping malls – let alone the vast world of porn.  Every time I reduce a woman’s image or her presence to an object existing for my pleasure and satisfaction, I become part of the problem, feeding the purveyors of objectification yet another reason to continue and intensify their offerings.

I get it guys.  You’re lonely, stressed, frustrated, insecure.  You want comfort, intimacy, less stress, or at least a momentary hit of plelasure – and they all seem out of reach, so you reach for what’s so readily available in our culture and presto – problem solved.  You leave satisfied.  Except the problem isn’t solved – at all.   The only thing that’s changed is that you’ve become weaker. You’ve made an offering to the gods of darkness intent on deepening the strongholds of abuse.  O, and one other thing happened.  Another woman was used – another story, another wall, another wound.

There’s a better way, and it starts with walking away from every whiff of objectification.  And the courage to walk away usually begins by believing that I have a life and calling all my own, a completion in Christ that is real.  Because of this, though I might feel lonely and frustrated at times, to the extent that I embrace my deepest and truest identity, I’m freed from letting the false void of inadequacy drive my behavior.  I’ve no need to grab, fondle, or even fantasize about doing so, because I’ve an actual life to live, full of serving and sharing, blessing and building.   Real life trumps fantasies and objectifications every time.

Restore the primacy of character in our voting, employment, and education.   The words of Mr. Trump, caught on “access hollywood” tape should have been a warning:  this is a man driven to conquer people, to use them, to acquire them as objects for his own purposes.  “… and they let you get away with it…”   He’s not the first president with the problem, by any means.  Just the crassest, and most cavalier – on tape anyway.   The scourge is well resourced with presidents from both parties.

The point isn’t perfection.  One look at Abraham, or Noah, or David remind us that perfection isn’t the point.  What’s happened in our culture, though, is that our silence, and our collective turning the other way, and our voting, have all become forms of tacit approval, not of those who have failed and know it, but of those for whom the misuse of power as a means of using a woman for sexual satisfaction became normal, even a matter for boasting.

All people are created in God’s image, and as such, none are ever to be treated as objects existing for the profit and pleasure of those with more power.  Sadly, this has been one of the most violated truths in the history of the world, including American history.  Blacks were literally property, for centuries, as confirmed “on the books” of insurance companies and banks whose records go back to the times of the colonies.  American Indians?  Objects.  Women?  Objects for sexual pleasure, void of voting rights, employment rights, equal pay rights, or even the most basic right of all – the right to walk through the world with the confidence that you’re being seen as a whole person, not an object to be used and discarded.

Are you intent on putting people in positions of power who believe in the dignity of all people, precisely because all are made in God’s image?  Are you interested in ending the objectification culture that has wounded women in America for centuries?  Are you going to take steps, as you’re able, to break down the dividing walls of racism, classism, and sexism that are a blight on both American culture and (too often) the church?

#metoo

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Norm Neufeld

    October 18, 2017 at 12:30 am

    Thanks Richard all well put and a call to action. The common reaction lately seems to be that of trying to “shame” men into changing. That won’t work, it just shuts them down. Not enough space here to get into it but the heart of the problem is, the heart. Redemption must precede the desired conduct. And by the way, the way Hollywood portrays of men isn’t helping. I thank God for my role models!

    Reply
  2. Tiffany

    October 18, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    Thank you for this, Richard. The silence in the Christian community here in Eastern Washington has been disheartening. Thank you for your wise and kind words that invite meaningful reflection from all of us. I needed this today.

    Reply
  3. Siobhan

    October 19, 2017 at 8:30 am

    Thank you Richard. As a woman living in both Ireland and now the UK, I have been treated as an object but God has given me the courage and fortitude to fight off the advances sometimes physically. It’s shocking that both as a teenager and an older woman that I’ve had to do so including in the domain of work in board meetings when that stray hand has slid under my skirt under the table. I am continually shocked by how women continue to be treated as I have seen my own daughter with scars on her body from having to protect herself when she was just a teenager.

    Reply
  4. Phil

    October 23, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    Amen…and Amen.

    Reply

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